Trying to understand the rules behind refuse collection has been a major preoccupation during the past year. Seeing microwave ovens, mattresses and wheel caps left out for the weekly collection led me to believe that “anything goes”. Excellent news, I thought as I piled up the rather large boxes that contained my new furniture. Such optimism was dashed the next day when none of my cardboard had been collected and I had to sheepishly drag it all back inside. A fellow Brit told me that they don’t collect cardboard and will not take glass or plastic bottles either. They don’t have green collections in this part of France, you are meant to take them to the nearest recycling point.
Fast forward to Christmas 2006 and I receive a leaflet about rubbish collection, detailing the monthly collections of metals and combustibles. So that was the problem, I had put my boxes out on the wrong day. Today was a nominated metals and combustibles day so I decided to have a clear out. A drive round the town saw plenty of properties with stacks of cardboard boxes and other junk piled high. Emboldened I created my own waste mountain outside my house. As insurance I left a few boxes outside the Post Office…just in case.
This morning I collected my empty bin and to no great surprise none of my boxes had been removed. Interesting! I walked round to the Post Office, which was a cardboard free zone. I blew my top, preparing to deliver a foul-mouthed tirade to the Mayor. I had been singled out for non-collection, with the obvious conclusion that this was a racist snub on the account of being British. I come from country that lost thousands of lives bailing out these surrender monkeys, their total lack of gratitiude exemplified by not bothering to collect my rubbish. As for sheepishly dragging it all back inside, much to the amusement of my neighbours? Sod that. It’s staying in the street. And if someone comes round to complain then sod them too. They’re messing with a Brit here and no-one does that.
It was while I was running through the many inadequacies of the French, that a truck with yellow flashing light pulled up, two men got out and cheerfully added my waste mountain to their substantial collection of old furniture, fence panels and cardboard boxes.