Archive for August, 2007

Putting names to faces

Friday, August 24th, 2007

As my French experiment draws towards its natural conclusion it is time to consider the many characters that will feature in my forthcoming bestseller “A year in Pontrieux”.

Not knowing the real names of all the people I come across it is necessary to invent names as verbal shorthand. Here are the people of Pontrieux sorted into meaningful categories.

Proximity – The people next door, the people at the back with the dog, the man opposite, the people next door on the other side, the old lady from down the road.

Profession – The nurse, the Mayor, the horseman, the horseman’s daughter, the horseman’s wife, the pharmacist, the woman in the boulangerie, the artists, the photographer.

Similarity to other people – Roger Cook, Roger Cook’s son, Herbert.

Physical attribute – The black man, the black man’s wife, the Scottish lady, the ménage a trios, the prostitute, the prostitute’s husband, the prostitute’s son, the posh lady, the three witches, the man from Paris, the League of Gentleman girls.

Any offence caused by these descriptions is purely intentional.

Petition Gordon Brown to make Barbara Windsor a Dame

Tuesday, August 7th, 2007

The Pontrieux Report’s campaign for Barbara Windsor to be made a Dame Commander of the Order of the British Empire continues with gusto,” I’ve been on the job all day!”

A petition has been created on the Number 10 website to enable you to show your support for the our Babs. The petition reads, “We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to make Barbara Windsor a Dame Commander of the Order of the British Empire.”

If you are a British citizen or resident you can sign the petition at http://petitions.pm.gov.uk/barbarawindsor/.

Happy Birthday Barbara Ann Deeks!

Tuesday, August 7th, 2007

Yesterday marked the 70th birthday of a truly great Briton. With a career spanning stage, television and film for the past 58 years, our heroine is a much loved national institution. She joins the ranks of Diana Rigg, Judy Dench, Eileen Atkins and Maggie Smith in proving that age is no barrier to a continued successful acting career. Our heroine is probably the most recognisable amongst our group of talented ladies and doesn’t suffer from that troublesome “I know who you mean, but I can’t remember the last time I saw her in anything” conundrum. She also happens to be the only one in our list who hasn’t been made a Dame, being given a measly MBE – the ones they give out to the proles now that they have done away with the BEM.

Why can this be? Is it because she isn’t a member of one of those posh outfits like the RSC? You know the ones, lots of state subsidy but hardly seen by anyone. Is it because the films she was famous for, were a little “low brow”. Perhaps it is because, horror of horrors, she appears in a “popular serial  drama”. Or perhaps it’s just of plain old snobbery – the accent has to be “just so” to be a Dame – only posh birds need apply.

As the Pontrieux Report launches its campaign to make her a Dame, let’s all raise a toast to the “our Babs”. Mine’s a large one!