Archive for the ‘Formula 1’ Category

Santander sticks with the cheats and continues to support corruption and dishonesty

Monday, September 14th, 2009

Clearly I jumped the gun the other day, not expecting a major sponsor to hedge its bets in such a unusual fashion. A basic understanding of marketing makes it easy to understand why a bank, which usually aims to project an image of trust, would no longer wish to be associated with an outfit that has shown to be institutionaly dishonest.

Perhaps they are after a particular market segment, after all even receivers of stolen goods and liars have banking needs.

This may even be good news for those of you caught making fraudulent loan and mortgage applications – just cite the “Melbourne” defence.

Santander dumps the cheats, Vodafone continues to support corruption and dishonesty

Friday, September 11th, 2009

Being associated with corruption and dishonesty is not the most sought after of  brand values, so it is no surprise that Santander have decided not to renew their association with McLaren.  What is surprising is that Vodafone continues to show faith in a team that is still under a suspended three race ban after admitting guilt on five charges of bringing the sport into disrepute.

Referring to the Santander deal their President , Emilio Botin, referred to Ferrari as “….. an irreplaceable pillar and a symbol of tradition, success and strength.”

I have no idea if Vittorio Colao is attending his home Grand Prix this weekend, but it would be the ideal place to announce that Vodafone wishes to atone for its treachery and is returning to Ferrari.

We’ve all had our pound of flesh, let’s leave him be.

Saturday, April 4th, 2009

I am not a Lewis Hamilton fan. I support Felipe Massa and Ferrari. This means I want them to win and to do so they have to beat someone else. As with football or any other sport there are some teams you oppose with as much vigour as you support your own team. If your side is not doing so well you can still delight in the downs of your favourite bête noir team. As a Pompey fan, I get as much enjoyment from their FA Cup win as seeing the Scummers languishing in the Championship. In F1 this role is fulfilled by Lewis Hamilton and McLaren, I am shamelessly partisan.

Up to a point. Like many F1 fans my loyalty is not blinkered, I enjoy the totality of the sport. I know that Lewis Hamilton is a fantastic racing driver and brings a lot to the sport. I cheered for Lewis at his final GP2 race at Silverstone. When I attended my first British Grand Prix I went to see Schumacher win. Yet when it was DC that took the chequered flag, I along with everyone else stood and applauded him on his victory lap. All the players contribute to my enjoyment of the sport.

So when ‘Truligate’ or ‘Liegate’ or whatever it becomes known as, was brewing I was having a whale of a time, poring over every poisonous newspaper article and blog comment. It was almost as much fun as race day.

Up to a point. Until I saw a solitary Lewis facing the media and giving them the apology they demanded. Despite all the hype, he is still a relatively young man trying to cope with the enormous pressure that his extraordinary talent has brought him. I can’t imagine how awful it must have felt to be in that press conference facing those who built you up as the ‘Second Coming’, some of whom are now gleefully trashing your reputation in their fickle tabloids.

He did wrong, he was found out and has apologised. What more can or do we want Lewis Hamilton to do? So can we now move on and enjoy the racing before we all lose any further sense of perspective?

A reputation restored in Melbourne

Monday, March 30th, 2009

You have been involved in Motorsport for many years, known only to a few hardcore race motorsport aficionados and then you get your big break, promoted to the pinnacle of motorsport. Under the glare of the British media you are now a household name to millions of F1 fans. Your team mate is already well established and has legions of loyal fans.

Almost from day one the sniping starts. Your ability is questioned and any error magnified. The abuse becomes highly personal with hurtful comments on your appearance.

Despite this, you approach every race with the same enthusiasm and despite the difficulties, manage to maintain a positive outlook. The abuse continues. A cursory glance at some of the blogs and F1 forums will see your name and your reputation trashed.

With glee, there is talk of potential successors and sympathy expressed for your team mate being saddled with such an inept performer. This turns to near ecstasy when it is announced that your employer is turning its back on F1. Normally job losses are mourned, but it is perfectly fine to celebrate the loss of your prized F1 role.

This is nasty unpleasant bullying of the highest order. The narrative is set and few are brave enough to offer a contrary opinion.

And then Melbourne arrives. After the qualifying session your performance is starting to be reappraised. Perhaps the judgement has been too harsh in the past? The race is won and many of your erstwhile critics are eating humble pie. Your talent is recognised and more people are coming out to say that you really are rather good (even surprising themselves to admit it).

I write not of Jenson nor of Rubens, but the much maligned former ITV lead commentator James Allen.

We were barely into qualifying when it became clear that Jonathan Legard and Martin Brundle was not a match made in heaven. At times Martin Brundle struggled to get a word in and when he did, found himself being talked over. Jonathan Legard may be the BBC old hand, but Martin Brundle is the draw. Their working relationship may be new, but surely they had rehearsals to iron out roles?

A criticism levelled at James Allen is that he is a bit too enthusiastic, a bit hyper. However paired with a laid back Martin Brundle the opposing styles complemented each other. With Jonathan Legard having a similar speaking style to Brundle, the pair sounded very soporific.

Even after just the qualifying session I was wondering whether I wanted to listen to these two for the whole race.

Perhaps they don’t get on. This impression was enhanced when we saw them both in the commentary box just before the race, where Jonathan was trying to engage Martin in a guess the number of broken front wings game – already done to death on 5 Live. To quote Murray Walker “You could have cut the atmosphere with a cricket stump”

On some of the forums it has been suggested that Jonathan Legard sounds as if he is commentating on a horse race. Perhaps in preparing for the role he studied the F1 segment of Alan Partridge’s year of sport in the Radio 4 1991 Christmas edition of ‘On the Hour’?

James Allen’s absence from the commentary box denied the viewer a passionate voice for what was a remarkable race. Thankfully the BBC’s interactive service allowed you to change the audio and listen to the perfectly matched David Croft and Anthony Davidson, who gave every impression of enjoying the race and working with each other.

Hopefully the TV commentary team will get their act together in time for Malaysia. If not, they may need to give “The Cock” a call.

Formula One on the BBC – first impressions

Saturday, March 28th, 2009

My Formula One season began as usual in the early hours of Friday morning. Like many F1 fanatics I used to turn to Germany to get my fix of comprehensive free to air coverage. With a cheap dish and old analogue Sky box I have not had to rely of ITV’s lamentable output.

The news channel n-tv used to broadcast the practice sessions, with qualifying and race day covered by RTL. RTL’s coverage is very impressive with a comprehensive warm up show that includes the driver’s parade and extensive post race analysis,  showing the responses of all the drivers in the press conference and not just the German driver.

So to the BBC’s red button coverage of the first two practice sessions.
The station’s first practice session broadcast was covered by David Croft and former Super Aguri driver Antony Davidson.

I am sure that Anthony Davidson would rather be in a car than the commentary booth, but his personal loss is to the gain of those wanting to get a sense of what it is like to drive a car and what the team is trying to achieve in the session. His experience enabled him to accurately interpret the track action, almost demonstrating a psychic ability to predict what was likely to unfold later in the session.

A good start which unravelled a bit for the second session which was covered by Maurice Hamilton and Ian “Arthur Mullard” Phillips. When I last wrote about this pair it was about how they spent a lot of time trashing the skill and ability of Felipe Massa. I haven’t seen their brief but it surely can’t be to waffle on about anything that comes to mind? They were so busy responding viewers’ questions it was like listening to Test Match Special when play has been suspended. Someone should have told them that they were broadcasting to a TV audience and not just the 5 or 6 listeners to Radio Five Sports Extra.

“Formula England’s” finest had a novel approach to their golden boy’s lack of form – largely ignore talking about him. It was quite refreshing not to hear breathless references to Lewis Hamilton every few seconds and actually devote some airtime to other drivers.

I am not going to complain – except to remark on the elephant in the room with regards to McLaren’s poor form this season; this is the first season in a few years where we can be reasonably certain that McLaren have not been able to incorporate stolen proprietary information from Ferrari in the design and set up of their cars. Why won’t the British media even contemplate that there may be a link?

Bahrain second practice schadenfreude

Friday, April 4th, 2008

My lunchtime nap today coincided with listening to the second practice session of the Bahrain Grand Prix on 5 Live Sports Extra.

Felipe Massa had run over a kerb, which led to a display of ‘Formula England’ at its worst, with much trashing of Felipe’s driving ability, about how undisciplined he is, how he hasn’t a long term career as a Ferrari etc. I can’t envisage them taking a similar approach to talking about an English driver, Anthony Davidson for example.

The bitching about Felipe only came to an end when a car smashed into the tyre barrier. “It’s not Nelson Piquet Junior”. No it wasn’t that foreigner or any other, it was Formula England’s Golden Boy who had made a mess of his car and probably his pants.

As the second practice session came to an end Felipe topped the timesheets for the second time today – without trashing his car.

PS. Note to the Arthur Mullard sound alike who was commenting with Maurice Hamilton. As there were only about 10 of us listening to 5 Live Sports Extra, is doesn’t really matter if you use the term “Pissed off”, but if you want to get a gig on 5 Live proper during the day, you’ll need to watch the mouth.

Three cheers for Red Bull (and DC)

Friday, July 6th, 2007

With many large organisations like the BBC dumping their older experienced stars, it is cheering to hear that Red Bull Racing has opted for both style and substance by signing Britain’s No1 racing driver for another year.

When David Coulthard started at Williams I wasn’t a big fan. He made a lot of noise about how good he was and how he was going to show Damon Hill a thing or two. Thankfully the arrogant years are behind him and I get great enjoyment from watching someone who appears to really enjoy what he does with no chips on his shoulder. Whenever David has anything to say about F1 it is always worth listening to and he has become a great ambassador for the sport.

As he prepares to race in his 14th British Grand Prix, David is still the most successful British driver on the grid. A fact that is probably unknown to the casual viewer of ITV’s mediocre F1 coverage.

To celebrate David’s good news I was going to suggest we all crack open a can of Red Bull, however as it is banned in France for health reasons,   I’ll have a glass of tap water (that contains prohibited levels of harmful nitrates under EU law). Cheers!

Jenson staying at Honda shock

Thursday, April 26th, 2007

As a tribute to the late  Boris Yeltsin, The Pontrieux Report decodes the Kremlin-speak from Jenson Button’s manager quoted in Autosport.

“Jenson is still supporting Honda,” translates as “By whining at any passing journalist about how rubbish the car is, Jenson is providing valuable feedback to the team.”

“Clearly, the team is not where it should be – but we’re not going to jump ship”, means “The team is having problems but I want to make it clear that the problems are nothing to do with Jenson and he is going to keep motivation levels high, by hanging around to point this out.”

“We’re not shopping around and I’m not talking to anyone at the moment.” translates as “When they saw us coming waving one of our worthless contracts, they slammed the door, put up the “Closed” sign up and ignored us shouting through the letter box.”

“There is no other team that can give us a better place to be,” means “I realise that Jenson is a busted flush and the best he can hope for after Honda is a spell with Red Bull Retirement or to beg on his knees for Dave Richards to take him on at Prodrive.”

ITV F1 Bahrain Grand Prix

Sunday, April 15th, 2007

Lewis Hamilton Lewis Hamilton Lewis Hamilton Lewis Hamilton
Lewis Hamilton Lewis Hamilton Lewis Hamilton Lewis Hamilton
Lewis Hamilton Lewis Hamilton Lewis Hamilton Lewis Hamilton
Lewis Hamilton Lewis Hamilton Lewis Hamilton Lewis Hamilton
Lewis Hamilton Lewis Hamilton Lewis Hamilton Lewis Hamilton
Lewis Hamilton Lewis Hamilton Lewis Hamilton Lewis Hamilton
Lewis Hamilton Lewis Hamilton Lewis Hamilton Lewis Hamilton
Lewis Hamilton Lewis Hamilton Lewis Hamilton Lewis Hamilton
Lewis Hamilton Lewis Hamilton Lewis Hamilton Lewis Hamilton
Lewis Hamilton Lewis Hamilton Lewis Hamilton Lewis Hamilton

BTW did we mention Lewis Hamilton?