The most idiotic  comments come from those who declare that France would never allow such a takeover of an iconic brand.

As I write I am munching away at a bar of Poulain Noir Extra. Poulain is one of France’s oldest chocolate brands – bought by Cadbury Schweppes in 1988.

I couldn’t understand his motive for so publicly airing his grievances on the inner workings of the Labour Party other than to undermine Tony Blair and hasten his departure.

A few years on, there was found to be no scandal and regrettably Tony Blair has moved on and Jack Dromey is still the Labour Party Treasurer.

I am looking forward to seeing an appearance on the news by the Labour Party Treasurer telling us what he knew of the latest donations. Was he aware of them or not? Also was he aware of the donation received by the winner of the Deputy Leadership contest? The problem for Mr Harriet Harman is that this time he can’t credibly play the “I was kept in the dark” card.

You need to get a grip on that stutter under pressure. It makes you sound evasive and nervous. You don’t want the tabloids to start referring to you as Arkwright of Open All Hours fame.

Stop trying to tell us what we think. You have developed what you believe is a clever phrase to use as your shield (now you can no longer hide behind Tony) – “I think people will (+ verb)”. The trouble is that you have over used it and it lacks effect. Worse still people could infer the phrase as your own distress signal, like the “I’m going not to take any lessons……” line you use at PMQs when you get rattled.

Why can this be? Is it because she isn’t a member of one of those posh outfits like the RSC? You know the ones, lots of state subsidy but hardly seen by anyone. Is it because the films she was famous for, were a little “low brow”. Perhaps it is because, horror of horrors, she appears in a “popular serial  drama”. Or perhaps it’s just of plain old snobbery – the accent has to be “just so” to be a Dame – only posh birds need apply.

As the Pontrieux Report launches its campaign to make her a Dame, let’s all raise a toast to the “our Babs”. Mine’s a large one!

The Pontrieux Report is drawn to a “Magazine” article on the BBC news website “How does a prime minister leave the job?”

For the benefit of any students foolish enough to cite this article in any coursework, I offer some corrections;

“Some PMs have dined with the Queen on their last night in office, but it is thought Mr Blair will not be doing this.”

Presumably only those who have known that it was their last night in office. Most PMs have departed as the result of a General Election, so their last night in office was probably spent in their constituency.

“From there he will be carried in the limousine for the last time to Buckingham Palace to see the Queen to resign his post and hand back the seals of office.”

No seals of office changed hands.

“He then leaves the palace in a different car, not the prime ministerial limousine.”

Well it may not the “prime ministerial limousine”, but it looked like the very same car to me.

“As soon as he has left, Mr Brown and his wife, Sarah, will be summoned to the palace to be invited by her majesty to form the next government.”

Actually only Mr Brown was invited to form a government.

“He will be presented with the seals of office.”

No he wasn’t.

“Afterwards the couple return to Downing Street in the limousine left behind by Mr Blair.

Mr Blair didn’t live a limousine behind.

Good old BBC, it’s the way they’re funded you know.

But hang on a moment didn’t Gordon mention New Labour twice in his speech? And what was that appearing on the screen after his speech, yes New Labour was back.

On reflection it became clear that giving Harriet the role of party chairman was a master stroke. He has effectively made her minister for the Today programme and  Question Time, having to defend all those things she rubbished during her campaign. I look forward to hearing her defending the Trident decision. Talk about being hoisted by your own petard! Also what one give one can take away, so if she isn’t up to the job Gordon can still move her.

1 (3) Hazel Blears. At the start of the campaign I found Hazel’s endless enthusiasm and cheery disposition a little grating. However the fact that she is able to maintain this inspite of several brickbats, especially from the Labour left who usually condemn those who patronise women, yet find it acceptable to belittle Hazel as she is a Blairite. I am impressed by the roll call of Labour MPs and cabinet Minister’s backing Hazel, including John Reid, who would have been my preferred choice for Labour Leader.

2 (2) Alan Johnson. Alan has fought a very energetic campaign, also attracting an impressive list of parliamentary supporters. A master stroke was an email sent out from MPs in surrounding consituencies, to where I vote – Dawn Primarolo, Parmjit Dhanda and Ben Bradshaw. All serious politicians who bring credit and gravitas to the party. Alan could easliy have got my number one vote, but I feel that Hazel needed it more.

3 (4) Peter Hain. Nothing against Peter but I couldn’t actually envisage him in the role. He is a very capable and eloquent minister and I feel would be better suited with a ministerial portfolio. He doesn’t inspire any great enthusiasm or dislike. A bit bland really. He gained a place for refusing to play the Iraq war hindsight card.

4 (1) Hilary Benn. So where did it all go wrong? I started out with the clear intention of voting for Hilary. Unfortunately he appears to have run a ‘can’t be arsed’ campaign. No even a single email. It doesn’t say a great deal for your promised campaigning skills  as deputy leader if you can’t seem to get your own campaign sorted. I have yet to hear from anyone who was contacted by the Benn campaign. Also from the TV debates he seems to be turning in to his father. Banging on about “Socialist values” may play well to the gallery, but we’re not playing a game of Buzzword Bingo.

5 (5) Harriet Harmen. Her big selling point was that she was the only woman in the contest. Well Hazel Blears blew that out of the water. Being a minister in Tony Blair’s government must have been a big strain for Harriet. As soon as she was unleased she took us back the the 80′s, conjuring up images on class war, nuclear free zones, and loony left councils. Her opportunism in backtracking on her support for the Iraq war was truly shocking.

6 (6) Jon Cruddas. If he is elected we are in trouble as we will have a leader and deputy with vastly differing visions of how the party and the country should run. It would be like electing Ted Heath as Thatcher’s deputy. Two aspects of the campaign to ponder. Boasting that you are the only candidate who is not a member of the government, is similar to boasting that you never get picked for the football team. It is not a compliment! Secondly, schoolchildren may be impressed that you are being supported by someone off the telly;I feel it is rather patronising.

One subject on which Gordon has been particularly reticent is his preferred choice of Deputy Leader. As a party  member I would like to know who he feels would be the best choice for the Labour Party. I personally feel that it would be a disaster if Jon Cruddas were elected (in spite of the enthusiastic support of the man off the telly). Would Gordon welcome a deputy with a contrasting vision for the party? Is he hoping that Harriet Harwoman gets the job? Plenty of MPs, Unions, CLPs and individual members (including that man off the telly) have publicly pledged their support for one of the candidates.

Why the silence Gordon? Perhaps he is afraid that we vote in someone other than his preferred candidate and that he looks a bit silly? Or perhaps he has been too busy working out which of our political opponents he wants to join his government?

The same can be said for elections. As a candidate at the count, you have little idea how the election is unfolding outside. Sat up in bed at home in Pontrieux I was watching “Tory Boy” Robinson et al backpeddling from their pre-election predictions of a Labour catastrophe (a 1% increase in Labour’s vote wasn’t in the script). I was also keeping an eye on South Gloucestershire Council’s website, which for the first time was giving a results service.

Having noted that my good friend Matthew Riddle had successfuly defended his seat with a whopping Alan B’stard majority,  a congratulatory phone call was in order. I caught Matthew watching the count for the Thornbury seats. After pleasantries I spent the next ten minutes reading out results from the South Glos website, with Matthew relaying this information to others at the count. “I’ve got Gary Pepworth on the phone calling from France giving me the results”, does have a certain surrealism about it.

Alas, lest we marvel too much at the wonders of technology, the call dropped and soon after, to use a technical explanation, the South Glos elections website went tits up.