How a prime minister leaves the job, BBC style

It is on the big set piece occasions you can rely on the BBC…..to go overboard with a lot spin, hot air and very little substance. I will comment later on Nick Robinson’s having finally lost the plot. Hopefully he will have had a lie down before he is sick.

The Pontrieux Report is drawn to a “Magazine” article on the BBC news website “How does a prime minister leave the job?”

For the benefit of any students foolish enough to cite this article in any coursework, I offer some corrections;

“Some PMs have dined with the Queen on their last night in office, but it is thought Mr Blair will not be doing this.”

Presumably only those who have known that it was their last night in office. Most PMs have departed as the result of a General Election, so their last night in office was probably spent in their constituency.

“From there he will be carried in the limousine for the last time to Buckingham Palace to see the Queen to resign his post and hand back the seals of office.”

No seals of office changed hands.

“He then leaves the palace in a different car, not the prime ministerial limousine.”

Well it may not the “prime ministerial limousine”, but it looked like the very same car to me.

“As soon as he has left, Mr Brown and his wife, Sarah, will be summoned to the palace to be invited by her majesty to form the next government.”

Actually only Mr Brown was invited to form a government.

“He will be presented with the seals of office.”

No he wasn’t.

“Afterwards the couple return to Downing Street in the limousine left behind by Mr Blair.

Mr Blair didn’t live a limousine behind.

Good old BBC, it’s the way they’re funded you know.

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Beware of the dogs

Quentin Davies’s defection and stinging resignation letter has unleashed the Tories finest attack poodles. Over at Iain Dale’s queenie bitchfest the level of debate was to resort to calling Mr Davies a “shit” . Meanwhile Alan ”Glad to be grey” Duncan has been stalking Quentin around the TV and radio studios. On Newsnight Alan unsuccessfully tried to mask getting very hot under the collar with unconvincing laughter. At one stage it looked as if he was going to burst. I am pleased to report that Labour’s newest MP eloquently fended off the yapping Duncan.

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Snatching hope from the jaws of despair

Watching the deputy leadership results unfold was a depressing experience. If Hazel wasn’t going to win it at least my second choice Alan Johnson was predicted to win by Sky and the BBC . Alas my fifth choice got the job. During Gordon’s speech I thought it was a little bit off for him to publicly sack Hazel and give Harriet her job. I was surprised by the number of colleagues who fell for the “it has to be a woman” line – it wasn’t deemed important last time round. The trots on Labour Home  were gleefully gloating over Hazel’s result, combining vindictiveness towards Hazel with predictions of the demise of New Labour. So I was quite depressed.

But hang on a moment didn’t Gordon mention New Labour twice in his speech? And what was that appearing on the screen after his speech, yes New Labour was back.

On reflection it became clear that giving Harriet the role of party chairman was a master stroke. He has effectively made her minister for the Today programme and  Question Time, having to defend all those things she rubbished during her campaign. I look forward to hearing her defending the Trident decision. Talk about being hoisted by your own petard! Also what one give one can take away, so if she isn’t up to the job Gordon can still move her.

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Has Benn blown it with a lacklustre campaign?

In between rushing out my plats du jour and trying not to burn the toasted sandwiches I have finally got round to casting my votes in the Labour Deputy Leadership election.  Here is your exclusive Pontrieux Report guide to how my votes were finally cast, with the position of the candidates in brackets before the Newsnight debate. Continue reading

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Fete de la Musique, oh dear!

June 21st see many French towns organising a Fete de la Musique, offering a programme of free live music events. Several organisations in Pontrieux had come together to organise the town’s first ever Fete de la Musique. An ambitious programme was organised with three venues running simultaneously.

Unfortunately the event appears to have been a washout. To be fair it was unfortunate that it rained for most of the evening and that two of the venues were outdoors. However the staging of Pontrieux’s first ever Fete de la Musique was almost a state secret. The only publicity I saw for the event was some flyers posted through my letter box on Monday. Alarmingly the leaflet stated that music singing and dancing would not only be taking place in the public venues but also in the cafes. As I am the only cafe in Pontrieux, this was news to me.

The only public transport serving Pontrieux is an infrequent train service that finishes in the early evening, therefore you have to come by car. Unfortunately whenever an event is organised in Pontrieux they are fond of closing off the town’s two main car parks to stage the event.  I hate to be the foreigner stating the bleeding obvious, but perhaps someone might realise that the reason people don’t come is because there is nowhere to park?

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Silence is Gordon

Perhaps the only thing I am “looking forward to” about the Brown premiership is that he will be no longer able to hide away when the going gets tough. I think that having to appear at PMQs will be quite a shock to the system. I fear he will resort to his usual steamroller performance he gives at Select Committees. This may get him through the first few weeks, but a weekly  diatribe of baffling statistics and incomprehensible rhetoric and platitudes will make him look evasive.

One subject on which Gordon has been particularly reticent is his preferred choice of Deputy Leader. As a party  member I would like to know who he feels would be the best choice for the Labour Party. I personally feel that it would be a disaster if Jon Cruddas were elected (in spite of the enthusiastic support of the man off the telly). Would Gordon welcome a deputy with a contrasting vision for the party? Is he hoping that Harriet Harwoman gets the job? Plenty of MPs, Unions, CLPs and individual members (including that man off the telly) have publicly pledged their support for one of the candidates.

Why the silence Gordon? Perhaps he is afraid that we vote in someone other than his preferred candidate and that he looks a bit silly? Or perhaps he has been too busy working out which of our political opponents he wants to join his government?

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Not giving a toss about anybody else

I return to my regular theme of the perils of trying to get a decent night’s sleep in Pontrieux. I have been a little bit spoilt the past few weekends as I have been spared the 2.30am and 4.30am cacophony of noise. Last Sunday night I was bothered by the tosser playing loud music until 1.00am Monday morning, but I musn’t be too harsh – it didn’t go on until 6.00am as on previous occasions.

My ire today stems from being awoken by a gradual increase in hum of voices in the square at 4.30am. Not the shouts of drunks but of a large crowd gathering. Clearly they are waiting for a coach. Whatever the purpose of their day out, surely at least one of the party might have thought that, as there are over 100 people living on or near the square, it would be considerate to keep the noise down?

I pose the same question as when I frequently witness the appallingly dangerous driving. Is it ignorance or just that they really don’t give a toss about anybody else.

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Is rubbish collection a suitable tool for uncovering latent nationalism?

Trying to understand the rules behind refuse collection has been a major preoccupation during the past year. Seeing microwave ovens, mattresses and wheel caps left out for the weekly collection led me to believe that “anything goes”. Excellent news, I thought as I piled up the rather large boxes that contained my new furniture. Such optimism was dashed the next day when none of my cardboard had been collected and I had to sheepishly drag it all back inside. A fellow Brit told me that they don’t collect cardboard and will not take glass or plastic bottles either. They don’t have green collections in this part of France, you are meant to take them to the nearest recycling point.

Fast forward to Christmas 2006 and I receive a leaflet about rubbish collection, detailing the monthly collections of metals and combustibles. So that was the problem, I had put my boxes out on the wrong day. Today was a nominated metals and combustibles day so I decided to have a clear out. A drive round the town saw plenty of properties with stacks of cardboard boxes and other junk piled high. Emboldened I created my own waste mountain outside my house. As insurance I left a few boxes outside the Post Office…just in case.

This morning I collected my empty bin and to no great surprise none of my boxes had been removed. Interesting! I walked round to the Post Office, which was a cardboard free zone. I blew my top, preparing to deliver a foul-mouthed tirade to the Mayor. I had been singled out for non-collection, with the obvious conclusion that this was a racist snub on the account of being British. I come from country that lost thousands of lives bailing out these surrender monkeys, their total lack of gratitiude exemplified by not bothering to collect my rubbish. As for sheepishly dragging it all back inside, much to the amusement of my neighbours? Sod that. It’s staying in the street. And if someone comes round to complain then sod them too. They’re messing with a Brit here and no-one does that.

It was while I was running through the many inadequacies of the French, that a truck with yellow flashing light pulled up, two men got out and cheerfully added my waste mountain to their substantial collection of old furniture, fence panels and cardboard boxes.

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Glasnost Gordon?

Despite Tony Blair’s generous endorsment, it only took a few hours for Gordon Brown to start making veiled attack’s on Tony Blair’s style of Government.

For the past ten years Gordon has had ample opportunity to have run the Treasury as a model for openess, with respect for Parliament. Yet he hasn’t. His own respect for Parliament has been to appear at debates and committees and blitzkrieg with a barrage of unfathomable statistics, often irrelevant to the question asked.

Where will Gordon draw inspiration for his new found glasnost?

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Why bother with a ringside seat?

Have you ever been to a sporting event or concert only to find that you didn’t really see much of the action and that you would have had a better view watching in on the box? Although I will always try to scrape together enough euros to attend a Formula One race I do miss the comforts of home – TV coverage -ITV plus RTL, Radio Five Live and a live timing screen on the laptop.

The same can be said for elections. As a candidate at the count, you have little idea how the election is unfolding outside. Sat up in bed at home in Pontrieux I was watching “Tory Boy” Robinson et al backpeddling from their pre-election predictions of a Labour catastrophe (a 1% increase in Labour’s vote wasn’t in the script). I was also keeping an eye on South Gloucestershire Council’s website, which for the first time was giving a results service.

Having noted that my good friend Matthew Riddle had successfuly defended his seat with a whopping Alan B’stard majority,  a congratulatory phone call was in order. I caught Matthew watching the count for the Thornbury seats. After pleasantries I spent the next ten minutes reading out results from the South Glos website, with Matthew relaying this information to others at the count. “I’ve got Gary Pepworth on the phone calling from France giving me the results”, does have a certain surrealism about it.

Alas, lest we marvel too much at the wonders of technology, the call dropped and soon after, to use a technical explanation, the South Glos elections website went tits up.

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